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In today’s show gargantuan show Chas reveals why grom abuse only hurts the abuser, David discovers the origin of Kelly’s turtle obsession, the boys quantify the precise amount of time required to become a local, and ELO’s poo poo touch reaches from the unemployment line to continue to dismantle surf biz. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

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CHAS SMITH HATES SURFING

SURFING GIRLS IS CANCELLED!

COCOA BEACH’S GARY PROPER LOVES TURTLES!

From the EOS, “Propper became an entertainment promoter in the early ’70s, mentored by legendary San Francisco rock impresario Bill Graham, and was soon booking little-known bands like Devo, Blondie, and The Police into Florida clubs and halls. Later, as a manager, he represented comedians Gallagher and Carrot Top. Propper made a small fortune in the early ’90s after securing the film rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic book characters.”

DA HUI BACKDOOR SHOOTOUT REIGNS SUPREME STILL

KAI LENNY AVOIDS NEAR DEATH!

 

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TOOLS TO LIVE BY! PRESENTED BY VAER WATCHES

Dear David and Chas,

Thanks for being willing to give some air time to this challenging situation.
Whilst I wish to remain anonymous I can say that I proudly self-identify as the fan that sparked the Silence of the Lambs parody of Elo’s skin swap with poor scaredy-cat Filipe.
At the time it was, to my mind, one of the most hilarious snowball-effect, pan-global, social media comedic collaborations I’ve been privileged to be a part of. A single comment online of ‘It puts the lotion in the bucket’ was amplified into hours of chuckles. Thank Chas, the BeachGrit ‘community’ and SurfSplendor for building the giggle palace. Royalty to a man.
Jeez I miss Elo!!
Down to business. Here’s the question. To what lengths is it acceptable to go to to self-identify as a local?
Picture the scene… You’re surfing your local spot when a fella who also surfs it from time to time paddles past and explains he’s written and published a book.
‘What about?’ You ask.
‘My surfing journey’ he replies.
‘Oh really!?’
‘Yeah’.
Confusion reigns.
Hours later the locals WhatsApp groups come alive with chatter about said book. ‘Who is in it?’, ‘Why did he write it?’, ‘What’s it about, exactly?’, ‘Who is he again!?’.
Pages are shared, and forwarded. Banter escalates. More questions are asked than answered.
Side note – there is more than one ‘locals’ WhatsApp group due to a historical situation involving treachery and paranoia which led to a the creation of a ‘splinter’ locals only WhatsApp group populated by some, but not all of the members of the old one. Circles within circles. Personalities within personalities (many of which are disordered).
“Are you in the book?’, ‘Am I in the book?’. On it rumbles. And on. And on.
So here’s the quandary. If when a local is explaining this story about the self-publishing surfer to another local and that local has to ask ‘What’s his name?’, ‘What does he look like?’ while the other local doing the explaining has to say ‘You know he’s kind of my size, umm sort of stocky, surfs blah blah board… I think his name is xxx’.
Then well he’s not a local. Is he!?
But, in his book he self-identifies as one. And I quote:
‘That winter I made it my mission to surf every big swell that blew in from the Southern Ocean, and I reckon my performance was beyond anything I had achieved before. Over the past five years XXXX has become my home break. The main reason I think of XXXX as my home break is because of the surfers I see out there all the time. For the first time in my surfing life, I feel part of a tight knit group of locals.I know their names and have learnt a little about each one of them from short chats in the water’.
This begs the question. If it is written in black and white and published, is it true? Chas, maybe you can answer that.
And, possibly more importantly, what is a ‘local’ exactly? Where is the line drawn. When do you cross over from outside the circle looking in, to inside the circle looking out. Is it a process of osmosis or is there a ceremony required?
Is it membership of a WhatsApp group that counts? If so, which one??
Or as in this case it simply a matter of good old fashioned self massage of ones own identity.
I’m not sure any of us really know.
But, I know two people who can surely thrash it out and come to a unsatisfactory non-conclusion on our behalf.
That’s you guys!
Work!
Anonymous in South Africa.

ROB DYDEK’S MLM TO GET YOUR MONEY

 

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BARREL OR NAH?

Road Raging?

Gold Carts as Beach Vehicles

Talking in a Public Restroom?


CREDITS

Host, Producer: David Scales @David_Lee_Scales

Host, Producer: Chas Smith @SurfJournalist

Sponsors: Blueland.com/surf

Sponsors: WeekendVans.com

Sponsors: VAERWatches.com

Music: Bob James, Angela

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